An average guy and girl are quite different. The dating process in the West and parts of the East is designed for people to try and find enough things in common so that, if they end up together long-term, they feel closer to each other and more in love. However, what we fail to understand is that the few things we have in common are nothing compared to the sea of innate differences guys and girls have. Let us face it right now, dearest readers- guys for the most part are into completely different things than girls. Have you noticed how many arguments, how much resentment and hate comes from guys trying to watch their girls' favorite reality shows, or girls trying to watch their guys' favorite sports? The whole idea that we have to generate love from forcing our significant others to get into things that they are not into is completely wrong. So yes, you'll have some things in common and yes, you need to share tasks and responsibilities. However, there are many things that bring you pleasure and happiness in your free time that the other person is not into at all. And yes, we are talking about free time and leisure time. Whether you are a guy or a girl, you treasure your free and leisure time and if you let your significant other completely mess with it, it will strain the relationship. It may also be a sign that you need more friends. Relationships are not supposed to provide all of this. Before the Industrial Revolution, it was pretty clear that guys and girls, even though they were married, would remain fairly independent, have separate tasks and spheres of interest, have separate friends and so on. This seems to have worked surprisingly well because both guys and girls knew they could be in a relationship yet still have their own world and stay true to themselves.
Another important thing to note is that, before the Industrial Revolution, men and women were clear on the importance of remaining self-reliant even after they get married. You could not survive if you suddenly forgot how to do everything you had to do to survive and thrive the very next day after your wedding. How does this reflect on our modern society today? Frankly, as criticism. In a place like the Greater Toronto area, people are likely to get serious, move in together and marry later on, closer to 30 or even later than that. By that time, both guys and girls know how to survive alone- get food, do chores, decorate for the holidays, make money, keep the place clean etc. Some do it better and some do it worse; some do it more, others do it less. Still, everyone knows how to do it. So, once you get in a serious relationship, if you pretend to suddenly know nothing and decide to become a burden, you will strain the relationship and it might fail.
Finally, perhaps the most important thing to apply is this: Care about things only to appoint, and do not forget to negotiate. You will hear tons of stand up comedy routines about a girl taking her guy shopping or picking decorative pillows etc. It's excellent stand up material because it is both funny and gut wrenching haha. This, to me, shows there is no real mutual respect. By mutual respect, I mean respecting each other's differences instead of trying to turn into each other. If one person is way more passionate about decorative pillows than their significant other, just ask them what colors or styles might be a hard no for them and then go do it yourself. Or, if one person is passionate about assembling a tool shed in the back yard, just go do it yourself but negotiate with the other person what the hard no's would be regarding size, color etc.
You might think this advice is not good or too radical. You may think you are better off doing everything with your significant other even if you hate it, and having your s/o criticize you and suspect a thousand different things when you are out by yourself or with friends. Somehow, I do not think so. :) In this day and age, there is not enough time to do this much stuff together anyways. Each person needs to work, commute, groom themselves, shop for personal needs, eat, sleep, work out, do continuing education, socialize with friends and family etc. So, when all of that is done, you only have time to share only that handful of interests and activities you have in common; the rest is solo game. For those who already know this- kudos. For everyone else, I hope this helps. ;)