Being self-sufficient is, historically speaking, a new concept for women. In most societies, women were the wards of their fathers, then their husbands, and finally their children before we'd close our eyes for good. Sure, there were societies that stood out and gave women many, many rights and the ability to be self-sufficient and independent, but they're few and far between. Ever since the Industrial Revolution and the modernization of the world, this has changed significantly and men and women have become the same in so many ways. Women can now find their own way in life without being anyone's ward. if they so choose. Still, when it comes to being self-sufficient, I believe all women- myself included- should not try to write the book on it, as it has been written by men a long time ago. I believe that if a woman wants to be strong, independent, and increasingly more successful so that gifts and affection from men are merely icing on the cake (instead of a necessity), she needs to consider the same decisions, sensibilities and life plans that a man does. Do well in school, attain highest education level possible, exhibit strong socialization abilities, define your life goals (short and long term ones), develop your career or business, service your debt and have a clear understanding of whether you want to just get laid or get married before you go out on that date.
Sounds simple enough, right? Seems to me it's easier said than done though, for many girls. Not too long ago I was at Rebel nightclub in Toronto. I was having a blast upstairs in the VIP area, watching the DJ and the squished masses of people below us. Besides me, there were other girls who also looked like a million bucks - all high maintenance. Yep, you gentlemen know it's easy for us ladies to look way better than where we currently are at in life. The part that complicates things for most of the girls, however, is that some of them start to actually believe it. A girl who looks rich on Saturdays and gains favour of truly rich, truly successful guys is working two retail jobs, did not get a career yet in her chosen field for which she has student loans that need servicing monthly, she shares a one bedroom and a den condo with a roommate (stuff of nightmares), and not only has no savings but is also racking up high interest consumer debt to look the way she does once or twice per week.
In hopes of what though? Free dinners, drinks and an occasional trinket will not cover her dental expenses, pay the rent or get her that big break she needs to finally kick off a career in her field. Getting noticed by someone a class above hers could get that girl in front of the right people who would give her a chance to rise above, but putting all the eggs in one basket and not doing anything else to become more self-sufficient is not only wrong, but dangerous too. Looking good and getting gifts from the people who like you is an example of soft power (of sorts). Soft power, though, is not enough by itself. Having soft power without a strong foundation for self-sufficiency is like having a car that looks like a lamborghini on the outside, but has a two stroke engine under the hood. It'll gain some favor by how it looks, until it's time to show off the real power which a two stroke engine simply doesn't have.
I am not hating on any woman or on myself, and have not just received gifts but also gave plenty back. What I will say, however, is that every girl should work just as hard on having a more traditional source of power (e.g. good career, money management and life plans). How does one obtain this fundamental strength? Ask successful, driven guys. ;)